not a diamond day

Wednesday 16^th.

Had a shitty day today.  A lovely young nurse whose accent I find very hard to understand tried to tell me something to day.  I thought she was trying to tell me that mum could go home so I asked one of the other nurses.  A trainee doesn’t have the right to tell you that you can go home she said.  After much round and round of the same I said ok.  Not really knowing what I was saying ok to but by this time I couldn’t be bothered.  I guessed mum wasn’t going home today.  I walked down to the front desk to be accosted by a head nurse who I had never seen before who gave me the third degree and told me that did I realize that mum was never going home and if I thought she was going to have chemo to forget it.   Her grandmother died of the same disease at 99 and on and on.    I had never seen this nurse before and I have been dealing with mum for nearly 4 weeks now and I feel like I am in a twilight zone and she who knew nothing but what she had read about mum was trying to tell me something.  She was talking to me like I was stupid.  All this over a simple misunderstanding!   There was a lot more involved but bottom line she didn’t know shit.

I phoned work because I was supposed to be doing overtime this Sunday.   It was so nice to be able to speak with the real world.  I have no Internet, no communication with the outside world.  I have to start making a life for myself here otherwise I am going to go crazy.  I think I am going to have to get some work to feel normal again.